Chelsey Goodan
Author of
UNDERESTIMATED: The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls
“If you have a teenage girl in your life, you need to read this.” That’s what Oprah’s Book Club says about the new book, UNDERESTIMATED:The Wisdom and Power of Teenage Girls, written by academic tutor and mentor to teenage girls, Chelsey Goodan. A sought-after speaker to audiences about gender justice, Chelsey conducts workshops on women’s empowerment, and serves as The Mentorship Director of the nonprofit DemocraShe which guides girls from historically underrepresented communities into leadership positions. As an activist, she advises public figures, organizes large-scale events for national nonprofits, and serves on the board of A Call to Men, a nonprofit working to end gender-based violence. Chelsey’s passion to explore humanity’s potential for authenticity, liberation, and empowerment permeates all her work.
How has your idea of what success means to you evolved? Have you experienced any pivots that have paid off in ways that you value?
My idea of success has definitely evolved! Money and fancy job titles are not the thing that I’ve seen make people happy or has made me happy. I feel successful when I feel whole and at peace with my authentic self. I feel successful when I’m connected to community and a higher purpose.
A big pivot happened when I shifted from screenwriting movies to writing this book. It was such a pie in my face moment—the beautiful, significant stories that I needed to tell were in front of my face for 16 years of tutoring and volunteering my time to mentor! The girls’ stories and my experiences with them were the most important thing. Not trying to get a movie made in Hollywood.
In your field, how do you stay authentic to yourself and your values?
This is such a good question and absolutely critical! It’s a practice for me: I check-in with myself, doing the best I can to quiet the noise of all the things the world is telling me that I “should” do, “should” say, “should” look like, etc. That checking-in process connects me with my inner voice. There are a lot of different words that could be used to describe that and I like a lot of them: my intuition, listening to my heart, my gut instinct, but I find that it’s often in moments of stillness and quiet that I can really connect to my authenticity and cross-check my experiences with my values. I’ve found that the inner voice gets stronger the more I do that.
I also surround myself with people who make feel like I can be completely myself, and who share values with. I always give myself permission to be weird, not trying to fit into any “normal" boxes. That also helps me step into and embrace my authenticity.
Do you feel like you have broken through systemic barriers? If so, how?
I think all women face systemic barriers. I’ve had the privilege to not face other barriers with things like my race or sexual orientation, so I know it’s important for me to use the privilege that I do have to lift up others.
I could dive into so many specifics, but I want to connect this answer to your question about staying authentic to yourself. As a woman, I’ve often found it hard to be taken seriously, hence some inspiration for my book title: Underestimated. I’m also physically short, enthusiastic, young-looking, and smiley which are traits that are often dismissed as not “serious.” But bringing it back to my authenticity, I’ve also learned that by embracing those traits fully, and not trying to twist myself into what “serious” people look like, then I’ve been able to step into my own power that feels much more whole and happy.
What is the best advice you have received from your mentor?
It’s not a weakness to receive help. Trust that people want to help you. My mentor pointed out that I personally feel good when I’m helping someone, so why would I take that opportunity away from someone who feels good helping me. This has been so uncomfortable to learn, but now I see receiving help as a beautiful exchange of energy.
A lot of girls and young women go through similar things but are too afraid to open up, what are some ways that we can promote vulnerability?
We need to do whatever we can to take judgment out of our tone. Judgment and shame keep everyone hiding behind walls. So often our intention to “teach” a girl something understandably feels like criticism. It’s also good to share our own struggles with vulnerability and model what we hope to draw out from another person. In general, open-hearted curiosity, with no secret agenda, is the right approach. And then when a girl or woman does share vulnerably, make sure to affirm it! Meet her with tons of love and care, holding space for feelings without trying to fix or advise. Just meet her where she’s at and love her for exactly who she is.
What is your favorite part about owning your girlhood/womanhood?
I love surprising people with my quirkiness. I love doing things that aren’t expected from girls/women, like something as simple as spilling food on myself and laughing about it, where I’m breaking those societal “rules” of what makes a “nice and polite woman.” Women can be all things! So I love owning the expansion—expanding those boundaries and definitions of womanhood.
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