Modeling School: It Only Takes a Spark

There are lots of images of flowers and hearts floating around this month. One specifically I’d like to share with you involves a Step Up Daisy (a member who shall remain anonymous) and her strength of heart I was lucky to witness.

Daisy opened a meeting by asking a group of Step Up women, “What challenge have you faced and overcome? We ask our Step Up girls to overcome challenges all the time. What is yours?” She proceeded to share an incredibly personal story about an illness she had suffered from her entire life, how it has shaped her, how it continues to motivate her and what it has brought to her life. Everyone was moved to tears. Inspired by Daisy’s bravery, each woman shared one of their biggest challenges and most vulnerable moments. This group of women that only 20 minutes before had been colleagues, became a deeply connected community.

Women have been coming together for emotional and other support since the beginning of time. Clinical psychologist Bhavna Negandhi says that, as women, it’s in our nature to thrive in all-female environments: “If you look at it from a biological and historical perspective, an evolutionary perspective, that’s what women did. Men used to go out hunting and the all female community was left behind to help each other out…” It makes sense that as women who are forging new paths in the professional world and in our own lives, we seek the community of like-minded women.

The factor that changes this powerful scene of connection at a meeting of women into a game-changing moment with broader implications is when you add a teen girl as an observer. One of our Step Up teens was in the room. When asked how she felt after hearing 15 women share so honestly, she replied through tears, “But you all look so happy! I would have never guessed you faced any challenges at all!” She felt connected to these accomplished, successful, powerful women who did not share her background and did not come from her neighborhood, but who faced challenges of their own. She continued, “I often feel alone because my family doesn’t fully support my dream of going to college and having a career. It helps me to know that some of you have struggled, too.” Her already strong sense of self and perseverance was bolstered that day. She will take that sense of connection and confidence forward with her. It will impact her and also her family, siblings and community as she continues to move forward in the direction of her goals.

This story of connection between women and girls was illuminated further at the National Mentoring Conference, held in Washington D.C. on January 30 and 31, when researchers from the department of psychology at the University of Virginia revealed initial findings regarding group mentoring of adolescent girls. Group mentorship has a more significant impact on social and emotional learning than one-to-one mentoring does. The role modeling and feedback that are provided in a group setting bolster young women’s ability to engage not only in relationships with their mentors, but improves their ability to engage in other relationships as well.

This has been our model at Step Up for years because it makes sense: women grow in community with one another and what better way to teach a girl that she is a part of that community than to include her? If we want to help girls become confident, college-bound and career-focused, what better way to teach them than to surround them with examples of women who are walking the walk? Sallie Krawcheck of 85 Broads said in a recent Wall Street Journal interview, “Networking is the No. 1 unwritten rule of success in business.” I agree. Why not teach girls this invaluable skill and let them in on the secret that networking is really about creating community. And they can know how to do that by watching us.

So when Daisy demonstrates how to connect with and create community amongst women, the multiplier effect of that act is invaluable. Daisy inspires women who in turn inspire girls. It all seems so simple. And indeed it is.